To Stay Married, Start Dating
By Terry Hernon MacDonald, Sat Dec 10th

One of my favorite memories from last year was not watching myyoung daughters rip into their Christmas presents, or seeingthem perform in the school talent show. No, my happiestrecollection was the date my husband and I went out on onestormy Tuesday night in November.

A few days before, we’d had our fill of running the girls toswimming lessons and fighting with them to do their homework. Wecould not endure the sight of one more PTA notice requestingmoney for this fundraiser or attendance at that meeting. Webroke. We called a sitter and reserved a table at the mostelegant restaurant in town.

And what a night it was. The sitter was late, of course, and thewind was snapping off tree branches and hurling them at our car,but we made it. The food, the wine, and the service were fine.We put the children firmly out of our minds. By the time thesalad came, we were sufficiently unwound.

We started having fun. We were laughing. The subjects of theweird charge on our cell phone bill or our dire need for a newrefrigerator never entered the discussion. We were transformedinto the couple we used to be before children, two cars, and amortgage. We were footloose, fancy free, and out for a goodtime.

The happiness of that evening stayed with us for many days. Wewere attentive to one another. We remembered why we’d gottenmarried and were glad for it, proving my mother’s advice thathappy couples continue to date each other forever.

“It’s important,” she’d say.

But, in the early years of our marriage, I’d make excuses.Diaper and

formula bills left little money for nights out on thetown. It was impossible to find a good babysitter. It wasselfish of us to take time away from the children.

“Make it a priority,” my mother would respond. “Children are theresult of the marriage, not the reason for it.”

Like a lot of couples, my husband and I had forgotten that. We’dcompletely wrapped ourselves up in our children and their needs.We started losing sight of each other, but we knew that if wedidn’t make time for our relationship, our children would growup and we’d be left behind, looking at each other and wondering,“Who the heck is this person?”

So we decided to make it a goal to go out on a date once a month(once a week is better, according to my mother), and I heartilyrecommend you do the same. If your husband is reluctant, don’tguilt trip him into “taking” you out. You’re not luggage.Instead, remind him that you love him, and tell him that youmiss having him to yourself. That should convince him.

I’m not going to pretend it’s ever easy to squeeze a date onto acalendar of never-ending responsibilities. It isn’t. My husbandand I had dinner plans tonight, but we had to cancel due to anevent at our daughters’ school. It's disappointing, but it won’tdeter us. We’ll just reschedule our night out for next week.

We've made it a priority because, as my mother counseled, ourhappy marriage depends on it.

About the author:Terry Hernon MacDonald has been happily married for 12 years andwrites frequently about dating and relationships. She is theauthor of the ebook HOW TO ATTRACT AND MARRY THE MAN OF YOURDREAMS. For more information, please visithttp//www.marrysmart.com.